Martha Hands, Mary Heart

“Don’t be a Martha!” 

“Be more like Mary!”

Have you heard these comments in relation to the story of Mary and Martha?  Mary practically wears a halo over her head while she sits, blissful, at Jesus’ feet. In the background, Martha is sprouting horns, her face reddens and her veins boil. With this visual in our minds, who would even want to be a Martha?

And yet there’s a catch in my spirit. A question about this whole scene: isn’t it a good thing to serve the Lord? Let’s go back to the story in Scripture to see what really happened.

What Really Happened (Luke 10:38-42)

Martha does many things right: 

She welcomes Jesus and shows hospitality. 

She serves and stays busy in the home. 

When she is troubled, she goes to Jesus. 

Martha’s  actions are not wrong. In fact, these actions follow the teachings of Scripture. We should all be more like Martha: showing hospitality, eager to serve our Lord, maintaining our house and home.

These are actions of a  godly woman. 

Where did Martha go wrong, then? Luke tells us that in her serving, Martha became very distracted (Luke 10:40). Suddenly serving wasn’t about the Lord, it was about the serving. 

When this happened: 

Martha began to doubt the Lord’s goodness. “Lord, do you not care…?” 

Martha began to feel alone in her righteousness. “…my sister has left me to serve alone.”

Martha  began to tell Jesus what to do. “Tell her to help me.”

Martha became anxious and troubled.

When Martha turned her eyes from her Savior to her serving, she chose a path toward inner anxiety, social isolation, and spiritual doubt, all while outwardly serving the Lord!

Two Phrases

We see the posture of each sister’s  interaction with Jesus in two short phrases. Mary “sat  and listened” while Martha “went to Him and said.” When we interact with Jesus, which posture  is  more often the one we  choose? Do we “go and say” or do we “sit and listen”?

Do we “go and say” or do we “sit and listen”?

I’m reminded of my relationship with my children. I love them and enjoy spending time with  them. When they lived at home, we played games, discussed lively topics, laughed at jokes together, and enjoyed meals around the dining table. We did our best to train our children to be thoughtful  of others and speak kindly, even when making requests. 

Occasionally, they needed to make a sudden request. A text over the phone, perhaps. “I  forgot  my Chemistry book. Can you bring it to my locker?” If I did not have a conflict in my schedule, I could help  them in this way. However, if my children continued to assign tasks to me with no relationship  or without showing respect, I’d likely feel the need to sit down for a good long “heart-to-heart” conversation with them about how to treat people kindly.

The Martha in Me

I often see the Martha in me when I approach God. Almost like a quick text in the morning, “God, I don’t have time to spend with You today, but give me wisdom as I lead a women’s Bible study tonight.” Becoming bossy with the Lord is a sign that our perspective is off-kilter.

What About Mary?

What was Mary doing all this time? With all the bustle in and  around the house,  Mary “sat at Jesus’ feet”  and she “listened to Jesus’ teaching.” I do hope that when the guests left at the end of the day, Mary at least helped Martha wash the dishes and sweep the floor. But Luke doesn’t tell us. What he does tell us is that Mary chose to sit and listen to Jesus.

And Jesus said that Mary chose:

The only necessary thing.

The good portion.

The lasting portion. 

What About You?

Jesus loved both  Mary and Martha (John 11:15). It seems clear that they loved Him too. The question is not about the love for or belief in Jesus. These women were some of His biggest fans. The difference is not in the actions. Scripture affirms all the deeds these women did, whether showing hospitality, staying  busy  in the home, or learning from the Master. 

The portion that is the “one necessary thing” is found in the heart, the attitude. As children of God, let’s choose the necessary thing, the good and lasting portion. A heart that sits and listens to Jesus.